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Terezin is a former WWII ghetto and a Nazi prison camp. 35,000 people died here, and over 80,000 passed through before finding their deaths in extermination camps. It's a ghostly place—its two star-shaped rings of fortification are now covered with grass, the walls are crumbling, the houses of the former ghetto seem mostly abandoned. Searching for a good restaurant here seems absurd—but it's exactly what I had to do.

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Today, I went to see Karlštejn Castle. Karlštejn is an enormous hilltop Disney fortress in the middle of a forest, built in the 14th century by Charles IV., the greatest hero Czech nation has ever had. Not only did he single-handedly conceive and create a whole new district in Prague, he also founded a university, strengthened the empire, and did many other things, making his rule the Golden Age of Bohemia. Let me tell you what I saw in this visionary's living quarters at the castle.

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Here's a list of things that I saw within the span of an hour and a half while researching nightlife places in Nové Mesto:

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The other day I sat down near the Franz Kafka statue in Josefov and people watched. A flock of apathetic tourists was huddled around the statue, listening to an enthusiastic Spanish tour guide. I don't speak Spanish, but words like emocional, padre, and aprensión made it seem like the guide was spilling the dirt on Kafka's personal life and his various anxieties. After that, the tourists took photos and moved on to the next attraction. I thought, "Isn't it strange to become known as 'the dude with emotional problems'?" Sure, he wrote some influential stories, but who reads them? For conversational purposes, all you need to know about Kafka is that in one of his stories someone wakes up as a bug, and that there's plenty of dirty laundry. And Prague's tourism industry (Mr. K was born, lived, and is buried here) doesn't help this simplistic understanding; it relishes in it. Every souvenir shop sells Kafka-related apparel, usually featuring dark figures walking down ominous streets. So here we have a guy with complex thoughts, uncommon creativity, and a weird sense of humor, boiled down to the poster child for alienation. Anyway, Franz, you had strange thoughts all your life? You weren't sure where you belonged? Capitalism has figured it out: it's the souvenir shops.